B I F F!

 I love a silly acronym. Especially when it sounds like the noise Pop-Eye or Batman would make when dealing with little monsters like the one below!

B.I.F.F in the world of work was originally devised by Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute as a way to respond to emails. His idea was to keep it Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm, as a way of reducing conflict and ending further discussion. 

However in the workplace this been adapted to help you briefly and firmly stop any further escalation of poor behaviours.   

Behavior - what happened, what was the situation

Impact - the situation caused this to happen, which then meant that happened (usually the thing that caused the problem, issue or upset)

Feelings - How it made you feel

Future - How I want to proceed in future. 

For example:

"Last week you shouted at me in front of the team. 

You said I hadn't understood how important the work was, and that my team wouldn't complete the work how you wanted it. You gave us no chance to reply and stormed off.

You made me feel anxious and you made everyone in the office feel anxious too. It stopped everyone from working and we spent the day making mistakes and being distracted by your outburst.

In future if you have a problem with my work you can speak direct to me about it."

Can you see how all the elements have been covered?

This is similar to the Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm, but adding in the Feel is something undeniable. Adding in Future ensures that they are clear on their expected actions.

They may dispute the situation, but how they made you or someone else feels cannot be argued with - it's a subjective rather than objective. It's powerful.