Speaking with Confidence

Speaking in meetings is usually the first time you'll talk in a crowd about your work. 

It's the first time to show professionalism, but for some it's a fear inducing panic filled festival with a side of overwhelm and sweaty palms. Here's some suggestions how to get past those fears.

Banish pre-meeting jitters. 

The same symptoms you get before a big speech are the same as going on a roller coaster. Learn your symptoms (shaky legs, worried tummy, fast breathing) and tell yourself OUT LOUD that you are not nervous but excited. Use them as a sign you are ready for whats to come and you are now ready to bring your best self to life.

Take a superhero pose, try box breathing exercises and practice mindfulness can help reduce them to a level they are not overwhelming. I cannot promise they will disappear, but when I take the attitude that I am going to have them anyway, I try to prepare and manage ahead of time.

Ease into it. 

Don't be late, but also don't rush yourself being there first and having the pressure of that. Join when the crowd joins and say hi to a few familiar faces. Make small talk if you don't know anyone or listen into theirs. Put your camera on if this is an online meeting.

Commit to speaking early. 

This can help if you've had a chance to say hi as you've already done it but try and get in within the first 10-15mins. You've made a noise, you've heard what your voice sounds like in the room. Once you've done that a few times move on to asking a question, give an opinion, present an argument, try and behave like a tech bro and repeat what just been said in agreement. Commit to talking each time and early.

Don't say anything

There is many a meeting where my input is not needed, I'm often there in technical heavy meetings to listen, absorb and take notes. Those sort of meetings you can take the pressure off yourself once you have introduced yourself. You don't have to talk if you don't need to. These are great meetings to observe how others speak with confidence. If you notice, the best ones are talking only when they need to and not adding for the sake of it.

Use your strengths when speaking. 

You're a nice person. People like you. It's actually true. They said so. Because of this, it will come naturally to you to back up your colleagues with a 'great idea' or 'yes that could work because...'. It shows you're not just their to observe, but have noticed your colleagues. Be careful not to just repeat their idea, seeking recognition for it. You won't be respected by the speaker or peers.

Show initiative 

When there's a next steps or actions to follow up - take one of them on, or come up with one yourself to take. In a meeting situation it will give you a great excuse to have something to talk on in the next one. You will also be able to prepare for what to say in that meeting - have a short concise answer prepared, as well as longer one which is suited to the detail they need. 

Challenge your beliefs 

There's no such thing as imposter syndrome or "I just don't have it" says the absolute queen Ilona Maher. You worked hard, you're good at your job, you know your role, therefore you have every right to be there and make yourself heard. You're part of this organisation with this position because you're qualified, effective and you matter.